Welcome to Hooter's

It was a normal day. Not normal-normal cause normal-normal isnt in the House's vocabulary...not that the house has a vocabulary, its a house...Anyway I digress. It was a normal day, but as we all know around here normal dosent stay normal for long.

It was Sunday so only a few people had classes so most of us were hanging out in the living room. Axel and Lilaithia had started a DDR torniment in the middle of the room so most of the people had gravitated over to play or watch Axel, self proclamed King of Dance, get beaten by Zexion.

(I was cheering for Zexy of course...)

I was sitting on the far side, near the computers playing, Soul Calibur with Kadaj, who was acting quite tame, not bothering his brothers or looking for Kaa-san. Though he would pause the game look over at the tent that had been erected over the computers and chuckle evilly. Oddly, no one else had noticed it except Dagger, and we were ignoring her that day.

I dint really even notice Seph until he was right behind me. He had skirted around the DDR goers to avoid being seen by Kadaj, who had acctully seen him anyway and begain cackling again, and stood behind us for a minute or two before heading off to the computers. Probably to check bids on, the marijuana plants he had on Ebay. Not that he ever got there, as soon as he got to the flap-door of the tent he was tackled by...a palm tree?

I spared a moment to glance over at him, which Kadaj used to combo me (Jerk!), and a buxom red head girl gat on his abdomen as the tell-tale owl unrolled. I smacked my forehead (not before Ring Out-ing Kadaj's Nightmare however) as the red head purred at Seph.

"Welcome to Hooter's! How may I service you?"

Good god her boobs jiggle a lot! She could rival Tifa for bra size, though I dont think she was wearing one...Digression. Squee.

Seph stared at her in horror for a moment or two until what she had said sunk in. There was a girly shreak and Seph was backed up against a wall. Red just chuckled.

"Dont like girls?" She purred. There was a flash of light and the girl was replaced by a blond boy with hazel eyes, blue streaks in his hair, and the body of a 5'6'' twelve year old gymnast. And we all know thats always a good thing.

"Perhaps you like me better?" The blond asked softly and slinked over to Sephiroth, who was immobilized by terror, and begain to run his hands on Seph's chest. Sehpiroth's eye begain to twich. Blondy's hands got lower.

Until Blondy's hands got a little to low and with a strangled battle cry Seph pitched the boy across the room into a couch near the DDR players.

(By this point Kadaj and I had played two more rounds and were on the final battle. So when Blondy cameback, pointing and yelling at Kadaj it provided an exelent oppertunity to combo his @$$ and win.)

"I dint sign up for this! S&M costs double kid!"

Conveniently Seph had stopped hyperventilating in the corner just as this was said.

"KADAJ! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" Seph roared, Kadaj (having already lost 15 of 19 games; thus taking his losses and begging for mercy) threw himself at Seph and latched around the older SHM's waist.

"I just wanted to make Big Brother happy!!" Kadaj cried, "Kira and Lilkaa-san said that Hooters made grown men happy!"

Somewhere to my left I heard Lilaithia squeek and saw her duck behind Squall from the corner of my eye. Sephiroth leveled a glare my way. I glared back, raising a eyebrow sardonicly, tempting him to accuse me of orcastrating this mess. We never really got a chance though.

"Hey! Have your little standoff after you pay me!"

We both turned our glares on the palmtree. He wilted a bit, but stood his ground. Finally Seph asked:

"Who exactly are you?"

"Envy. Shapeshifter extraordinaire. I do odd jobs like modeling and such but I swear this is a first-"

He was cut off as a short blond burst into the room shouting.

"Envy what are your doing here?!"

"Ed! I-" Ed caught sight of the Hooters sign behind us.

"Is this what you've been doing? Manwhoring for-"

(From accross the room exclamations were heard from Xehanort, Xemnas, and Ansem. When they were shushed by the others one of them muttered loudly "He's givin manwhores a bad name...")

Most of the conversation had been lost in the MWSHM's outburst, but the drama wasnt over yet. Ed burst into tears still calling Envy all sorts of names. Durring one particularly horrid insult Envy decided he had had enough, apparently, because he wrapped his arms around the little blond and snogged him for all he was worth. There were a few 'Aww"s from their audience. When they finally broke apart gasping, and in Ed's case sniffling, Evny cocked his head to the side whipping at Ed's tears.

"Im sorry Chibi-san I wont do it again."

"Lets go home now..."

The walked out Envy's arm over Ed's shoulders. There was scattered applause and a few happy tears.

"Well at least thats over." Seph sighed. Kadaj looked up, still wrapped around Seph's waist, hopefully.

"So Big Brother isnt mad?"

Seph looked down at Kadaj like he had forgotten he was there, for a moment we all held out breath Seph looked like he was ether going to let

Kadaj off or kill the boy. He eventually just smacked Kadaj in the head and stepped on him as he stomped out of the room.

Rather anti-climactic. But hey, who cares.

"Hey, Demyx he's gone now."

"Thank god! I was sure he would spot me."

"Did you get it all on tape?"

"Yup!"

"Hehehehehe..."

000

And from the entryhall a shout could be heard.

"DON'T CALL ME SHORT!"